During a recent conversation with my friend Erika, I said "I'm not afraid of what's around me, only of myself." I find that statement to be very true. Although it was uttered in everyday-conversation, it represents my way of thinking at the moment. I don't fear the world around me; terrorists, criminals, natural disasters, horror movies, even death. These things aren't in my control, so why should I worry? But when it comes to my own mind, I can terrify myself. My way of thinking can be so obscure, that it makes me shake. I worry that I'm going to fall into my former self; an addict of my desires. I can't say I'm far from that tipping point right now, although I find myself on the other side of the cliff in this instance... Of course, this is what I'm trying to work on, and to ease away from. But like most things in life, this takes time. It's a step by step process. And sadly, I'm only just starting to walk. If I had something to work for a few months ago, I would be much farther along by now. But I suppose better late than never! At least now I have a goal. Without a goal or an agenda, I seem to feel lost. But, like all bad times, this will pass.

My current "motto" (well actually it's just what I wrote on my arm last night,) is "Don't be afraid of what you say, or do." Depending on how you take that, it's quite helpful. If you're a homicidal maniac, that might not be so good, but you get the point.

My friend James recently discovered an old profile of mine on the social site "vidilife.com." I must say I was quite embarrassed by his finding, but I suppose it could have been worse. At least I'm aware of the fact that I am a complete dork, but have changed immensely in the past few years to the point of having almost no recognition of my former self..."almost" being the key word, there.

Along with the link to my old profile, I came across three blogger profiles that I never used more than once or twice. I have since exported those blogs to my current profile, gone over the posts, and deleted two of of them. The one I kept was from 2005. It was a blog I used for my crappy poetry. So, if you're into that kind of shit, check out http://lovedorloathed.blogspot.com/
Granted, there are only 3 posts I kept on the blog itself, it's there for your enjoyment.

I suppose that's all my news for today.
So, God is good, free Tibet, all that jazz.

Let me just start off by saying this: *screams loudly.*

So, I'm stuck in the same situation as I always seem to be in; what to do about school. Technically, I don't have to go to University, but I should. Problem is, I don't want to go to a crappy community college for two semesters of basics. BUT, looks like that's probably what I'm going to end up doing. The classes here are most likely already filled up, so I wouldn't even be able to start until after Winter break. I suppose it doesn't really matter though. It doesn't matter when I start into college, just as long as I do. Now, where to go from there...

I'm a mediocre artist, amateur composer/pianist, and a shitty singer.
What the fuck do I do with that? I want to be an art major, but I don't believe I have enough natural talent to get into SAIC, which is where I REALLY want to go. I love playing the piano, but I'm not exactly Julliard materiel. I love to write, but I need to be superbly good to make any money with that. Well, you need to be superbly good to make money in any field. I also need something to fall back on... ugh, I don't even wanna think about that.

I realize now that I'm fucked for life unless I can get into a good school OR I marry someone absurdly wealthy (or whom has the potential to be.) Haha, and if the latter happens it'll be a miracle. So, school it is.

Until then, here's a couple chalk/soft pastel drawings from the past few days:

Happy 7/4/09...

Happy 4th of July, America. Today is a day to have BBQ's, watch fireworks, drink beer, and get killed in car accidents. Luckily, I myself will not be partaking in such activities. I am alone this weekend, so today is going to consist of sleeping, working on a new sculpture and more sleeping. I may throw some writing in there, and a meal or two. I'll most likely be spending the evening calming down the dog as she runs through the house freaking out over the fireworks. I thought she was going to burrow through the floor last month when we had the tornado. The strangest part during that storm was that we were the only part of town with power. Everyone surrounding us was out. Yet the other night, when there was no storm or any other anomaly, the power went out for a good two hours. Mother fuggin' Texas.

Well, I was just informed by my affiliates at YouTwitFace, that someone wants to post a link to my blog since I am the only one in our group that has blogspot! Apparently, I've been put in charge of creating one for the site. Until we get the main site up and running, I don't know why we bother with these other things [ie. Facebook fan pages, and groups.] Although, I must thank Twitter for getting us a decent number of followers in such little time. Well, actually it's only 400 people, but considering the Twitter page hasn't been attended to very much, it's not bad. I suppose even minor publicity is good when you're just starting out!

PS. Guys, how does my tiny little blog of ramblings help YTF? I swear I'm working with morons!

(The Twitter page is http://twitter.com/_YouTwitFace_ )

I guess I'll leave you with a piece I did the other day. It's another for the Skull-a-Day blog. This is probably my last piece for awhile that's affiliated with skulls. The muse is fading. This is a cut paper design that started with a sketch of an alien'ish skull. After copying the sketch, and a bit of tedious work, this is the end result. His name is Fred. :)

The original sketch...

And the end result...

Too much time on my hands...

Thanks to the marvelous Skull-a-Day blog, ( http://skulladay.com/ ) I have found a new muse; skulls. Now, don't gimme the "Tierney, that's gross! You worship the dead..." speech. Because everyone seems to think I have some sort of necrophilia fetish. Which. Is. Awful.

I simply try to find beauty in everything. Skulls don't have to be scary or tacky like the guys that get the lame "flaming skull" tattoos. Besides, we all have nasty, flesh covered bones inside of us. At least with something like this to focus on for a little bit, I can work more with human anatomy. I can't spend my entire life sculpting and drawing figures with missing body parts. Well, actually I could if Picasso could get away with putting the pieces in strange places... But that's beside the point.

This is something I just finished yesterday. It's for the Skull-a-Day June Contest to create a flag. It's nothing special, but it was fun to make. Believe or not, the easiest part was sketching the skull. It sort of flowed perfectly with the fabric. The script took some time, but it was worth it. It translates to "Satan's Blood House." I think my favorite part is the emblem with the little dancing skeleton. If you haven't figured it out, it's a flag for Hades. :)

Creating a life...

Since I have decided to apply to the School of the Art Institute of Chicago and the Art Institute of Dallas, it's time to build my portfolio; starting from the ground up. I need to get together all the pieces I've created (whether good or bad) from the last couple of years until I apply. So, I have to get my ass moving! My favorite way to work is with lots of different, manageable materials to create collages. Although, I love to draw, paint and sculpt. Problem is, I need to improve immensely before really being considered anything more than amature. At least with my mother and sister, both of whom were art majors, I have someone who will be honest with me on whether my work sucks or not!

I thought I'd post a couple of old favorites to show off....because sooo many people follow this blog! ;)

Someone please klonk me on the head...

I am deeply in love with two spirits; music & art. I am oddly attached to certain songs and visual works of art.

Have you ever felt like someone was "made for you?" Yes? No? What about a composition or a painting? I came across a piece the other day that is absolutely perfect for my novels cover art. (That is, when I finish it, and if it gets published. [my sister got a publisher interested in her very first book, so maybe with her advice and a lot of luck, I can too. {but I didn't get to read her entire book, so it's probably amazing compared to mine so I may not have a shot *even though our stories are complete opposites* but I may be wasting my time with all this research and shit.}])

Wow, those parenthesis were an ordeal.

I am currently working on three projects right now - a new composition, a collagesque piece, and a sculpture. I get so caught up in these things, that time just seems to fall away. Last night, I was sketching and gluing and cutting away when I realized it was after midnight. So I thought I'd take a break and say hello to some friends online, then head to bead. After about 15min on Facebook, I see that I misread the clock and it's not 12:30am...it was 2:30am. Mother fucker. So this morning I was woken up early because my Grandmother, who thought I went to bed at 10, not realizing I was in the downstairs studio. What's sad is considering how long I've been awake, I've gotten nothing accomplished farther than letting the dogs outside and scooping food into their bowls. Although I did make a cup of coffee... Anyway, enough whining!

I leave you with a fun project from last week; don't cringe, it's just nail polish:

My mother (or me, I can't remember) broke this wine glass, so I recycled it. I suppose if you broke a wine glass whilst drinking out of it, slit your lip, and you bled a lot...this might be what it'd look like. The "wine" level, is a bit uneven because I ran out of nail polish, but that can all be fixed with a trip to Walgreen's. Problem is I haven't gotten there yet...